I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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