So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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