Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
