I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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