I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
