I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
