Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
