Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
