I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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