Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
