Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
