just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
