So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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