Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
