My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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