there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm at about main and main street
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
