what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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