What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
