shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
