cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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