i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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