I can text with my tongue
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
