I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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