ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
