I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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