We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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