I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
