going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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