dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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