so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
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