OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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