guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize