after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
