P.S. I can't hear my feet
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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