I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
His nipple licking is glorious
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