mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
