she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
