I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
