Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
