I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
