Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Someone came in the potted fern
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
