exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
