so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
