At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
