where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
