Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
