I am in a vortex of obligation.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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