Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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