I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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