all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
